It’s Tuesday and Allison Dining Hall is Serving Lasagna, But I Wish They Served it Yesterday When I Had a Case of the Mondays Because I’m Garfield the Cat

I have to be honest. It wouldn’t be fair to myself to not say how I feel about this. And I’m exhausted, so I won’t go on for long. I just need to get this off my chest.

I really, really wish Allison Dining Hall had served lasagna yesterday. Because it was Monday, the day which I hate. I don’t want to sound ungrateful because I am happy, thrilled even, that there was lasagna today, because lasagna is the food which I love. However, I wish they had served it yesterday.

I don’t want you to think I wanted lasagna yesterday instead of today. I think the right thing to do would be to serve it both days. But, if I had to pick between having lasagna on Monday and having lasagna on Tuesday, I would take lasagna on Monday nine times out of ten. And that’s because I’m self-aware; I know myself better than anybody else does. And because of my self-awareness, I know that I hate Mondays much more than I hate Tuesdays. Often the only thing that can get me past a cruel case of the Mondays is a delicious plate of lasagna.

I hate getting out of bed no matter what day of the week it is. But if that day is Monday, there better be some fucking lasagna waiting for me in the dining hall. I really don’t think that’s too much to ask. It’s kind of a “help you help me” moment. If you, Allison Dining Hall, could take that small step to help me, Garfield the Cat, I imagine my aforementioned weekly case of the Mondays would become slightly more bearable. Is that really too much to ask? I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, it really can’t be too much effort to make lasagna every Monday.

I’m sorry about my tone in the last couple of paragraphs. I realize I may have been a bit too passive aggressive, and I’m sorry for cussing. If I’m being totally honest, this whole Monday thing has really got me down. And yesterday was a particularly hard Monday. I mean, Jon gave Odie a lot more attention than he gave me, and I was also really tired. So, when I got to the dining hall today and saw that they had lasagna, I was happy of course, but also slightly peeved. If they can serve lasagna on Tuesday (a weekday in which I love lasagna but don’t necessarily need it to be happy), why can’t they serve it on Monday (a weekday in which I need lasagna to be a functioning cat). That’s all. I think I’m going to take a nap and dream of Saturday.