It’s Cold and Everyone’s in Love and That’s Fucked Up
Listen up shitheads. It’s cuffing season whatever the fuck that means. So if you’ve been cuffed/caught/nut busted, then congratu-freakin-lations. However - we need to have a discussion.
In the year of our lord 2019, I found myself yet again bumping into another gross white couple doing the tongue twist outside of Louis.
So to all of you disgusting creatures locking lips outside with your snot running down each other’s perfectly smooth porcelain faces -
I would just like to pose a few questions:
Who do you think you are.
What gave you the right?
Good for you Angela, you locked down Sean from Beta to heat up your pussy every other Friday. It’s cold and dark and sad but WHOAHOHO you cracked the code! I’ll just be over here caressing my light therapy salt lamp (that my MOM sent me) for 45 minutes a day.
CONGRATULATIONS you have a slam piece. You know what I have? Hemorrhoids.
If I catch one more of you holding hands through your SmartWool gloves I will personally push you so you both wipe out in a snowbank. But you’d probably make that some sort of cute, picturesque, rom-com moment wouldn’t you? You sick pieces of shit.
Keep your post-hot cocoa cuddling coitus out of my face you bastards!!!
P.S - God someone date me. I’m a really cool person with a lot to offer.