Instapurge Leaves Millennials Wandering Aimlessly
Hordes of aimless millennials have been wandering the streets following the “Instapurge,” a mass Instagram spam account removal causing a general loss of followers. This loss has left many members of our hopeless, selfish generation confused and purposeless.
Tim Jameson, 22, expressed concern about how this will affect his day-to-day life. “I wake up every day and prepare myself an Insta-worthy breakfast,” he said. “And if only 280 people are seeing that instead of 337 people then there's just no point in doing anything anymore.”
Many of these accounts were fake profiles that would offer follows and likes for money. Jameson pointed to this to criticize Instagram’s decision to remove the false accounts.
“I live in the United States of America,” he said. “I should be able to buy anything at any time, especially self esteem.” Jameson then immediately returned to a zombie-like trance while staring down at his phone.
Justin Bieber lost over 3.5 million followers following the purge. He could not be reached for comment because of how cosmically insignificant this is in the grand scheme of things.