Inspiring: Couple Married for 71 Years Die One Day Apart After Botched Satanic Suicide Pact
An Idaho couple married for 71 years passed away 25 hours apart from one another on Tuesday as a result of a botched suicide pact which was intended to bring them closer to Satan.
Ida Henkel, 92, died only a day after her husband, Glenn Henkel, 94, bit into a cyanide capsule and gasped, “Lord of Darkness, accept me into your kingdom.” Ida, who was unable to break open the poison with her gums, apparently missed the window during which the moons of the Netherplanet aligned, a folly for which she will surely be punished.
“They had always done everything together, so it only makes sense that they would pass on together,” reported Heidi Henkel, one of the couple’s 6 children who apparently believe the couple passed peacefully in hospice. “I know they’re watching over us right now from heaven,” added Heidi, unaware that her parents intentionally ended their time on Earth in an effort to join the legions of Satan’s army.
The Henkel’s 71 year marriage lasted through the Great Depression, World War II, and the opening of a Dark Portal which delivered a messenger of Lucifer into their lives. “They had to live through a lot of hardship that we can only imagine” said John Henkel, 63, the couple’s only son. “It only made their love stronger. Even when dad would lose touch and speak in gibberish to himself, Mom would be right there with him, lighting candles to help calm him down.”
Glenn and Ida Henkel leave behind 6 children, 13 grandchildren, and 9 great-grandchildren, all of whom were “weak mortal shadows of no value to us,” according to the dying Ida Henkel.