I'm Skiing By Myself on Ski Trip and Here's Why You Should Too
What up, wintry Wildcats! Those of you going on Ski Trip should be excited for a week of sporty fun and ugly-sweatered debauchery. You should also think be thinking critically about your skiing plans. You’re probably all, “I’m going to ski all day with my most bestest #bffs, be on the lookout for my Snapchat story!!”
I am going to disabuse you of that notion with the following reasons why you should ski lone wolf instead.
There is nothing inherently social about skiing.
No one has ever said, “Let’s get to know each other over zooming down an icy slope with scarves over our mouths and helmets over our ears.”
You are annoying.
So maybe don’t subject your friends to your presence on a 20-minute chairlift ride in which they have literally no escape.
In that spirit, a chairlift ride next to a STRANGER gives you the perfect opportunity to be anyone who you want to be. Of course you don’t actually make quilts out of 4-leaf clovers, but THEY DON’T KNOW THAT.
You ski out loud. “Pizza. French fry. Weeeeee! Pizza. Pizaaaaaa. French fry! WAIT WAIT THERE’S A TREE. PIZZA. PIZZA. PIZZA.”
You need an explanation for this one?
You are from the Midwest and these are Big Kid mountains.
When you first took the training wheels off of your bike, did you want anyone witnessing that besides your mom? Didn’t think so.
Physics is a ruthless bitch.
You do not want any of your peers seeing you experience the Law of Conservation of Momentum firsthand as you crash into a post.
You are not going to take that wipeout like a man.
So THIS is what a slushie feels like: freezing cold and having just gone through quite the whirl. And in equilibrium with the ice.
You want to ski like a dumbass.
Want to see how well those mad Pop, Lock, and Drop It moves translate into downhill skiing? Go for it. (Disclaimer: that’s probably a great way to tear your ACL).
In all seriousness, being alone on a mountain can bring you some powerful clarity.
Your nose gets really runny in the cold.
Snot-rocket away, my friend.