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Freshman Says He Can "Really Taste the Hops" of Keystone Light

Freshman Says He Can "Really Taste the Hops" of Keystone Light

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(via childrenshospitalblog.org) EVANSTON, Il. – While at the off-campus house of [redacted] fraternity last evening, freshman Michael Whitlock (Weinberg, ’18) swore to a member of his PA group that he could “really taste the hops” of his warm, keg-siphoned Keystone Light beer.

“Yeah man, there’s a whole lot of hoppiness in this beer,” Whitlock remarked to his friend about the beer, after taking a sip and noticeably wincing. “Not as much as Miller, granted, but I almost prefer this. I like a smoother, earthier beer.”

Reports also indicated that, later that evening, Whitlock shared a poorly-rolled, placebo marijuana cigarette with a fellow freshman he had met in his dorm only hours earlier, which he claimed made him “high as balls.”

 

Like this piece of garbage?  Then you should apply to write for Sherman Ave!!!

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Police Uncover Pumpkin Spice Latte Den near Northwestern Campus

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