Freshman Guide: Rejection
So, you’ve made it into Northwestern. You’re one of the smartest kids out there. You’ve beaten the odds and squeezed into the 10.7% of students talented and hardworking enough to make it into the 12th best school in the country. So now that you’ve made it into college, you can finally sit back and relax, right?
WRONG. If you thought it was hard getting into one of the most elite colleges in the world, have fun attempting to get into the elite student organizations within that elite college. That’s right -- nearly every group you want to get into, from improv teams to news publications to fucking Dance Marathon, has a competitive application process. So since you’re all but guaranteed to get rejected at least once by a Northwestern student organization, here’s some advice from ol’ Doopy, who was rejected by over twelve student organizations (including Sherman Ave) in just his first four months at school! So without further ado, here’s how to survive the sting of rejection:
When you get rejected from your first group at Northwestern (likely in September or October, just when you’re at your most vulnerable), you’ll probably feel like a bag of rotten turds. But stay determined! You have to keep putting yourself out there, no matter how long the applications are, and how little time you have to recover before moving onto your next rejection. And even after the 6th, 7th, and 10th rejection, stay positive! You just need to wait a full year until next fall when your friends are on exec boards and take enough pity on you to give you a position like “Social Media Chair!” You like making Facebook cover photos, right?
Remember: Everybody gets rejected!
Though it may seem like you’re alone on this process, keep in mind that rejection is a natural part of life and everybody experiences it at some point in their lives. Well, except for the people who go to schools where student organizations are open to everyone. And the people like Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Stephen Colbert who were just naturally amazing at everything they tried. And your roommate who made it onto an a-capella team and the whole group came to serenade him at three in the morning and woke you up so you thought you made it on when it was actually your better looking and more charismatic roommate. But you know, all the other untalented people. They get it.
If you didn’t get to be allowed in a community through student organizations, maybe try your hand at Greek life! Greek life is kind of like student organizations, except they actually have an even worse application process. For men, this means for months you’ll be sucking up to guys only one year older than you in hopes of being allowed in so you can do more tasks for them as part of initiation rites. And for girls, you’ll be forced to have a smile and drink nothing but cucumber water for a week straight! Oh, and did I mention you can get rejected from all of these Greek organizations based on solely your personality, rather than talent or experience? I’m sure that does wonders for your self esteem!
Form your own group!
If you didn’t get into the organization of your dreams, there’s nothing stopping you from forming your own theatre board or news publication! Well, besides the fact that nobody respects you enough to pay attention to you. And you don’t have the ability to get any resources until you are somehow active for a quarter with no resources, and then get T-status (if you’ve actually proved yourself, again with no resources), and then get B-status (if you get approved by the ASG, which is not a fan of new student organizations). Oh, and you will most definitely look bitter and angry if you do this, which will probably hurt your chances of getting into a “real” group. But you know, at least you get to perform improv or whatever?
Apply to Sherman Ave!
We love rejecting suckers like you!