Hi.

 

Freshman Guide: Fight Club

Freshman Guide: Fight Club

Hey, you. Yeah, you. You fucking freshman. Here are the rules for Fight Club.

1.     First rule of Fight Club.

You do not talk about Fight Club.

2.     Second Rule of Fight Club.

You do not talk about Fight Club.

3.     Third Rule of Fight Club

If you bring snacks, make sure to bring enough for everybody.

4.     Fourth Rule of Fight Club

If you have to go to the bathroom, don’t ask. Just go.

5.     Fifth Rule of Fight Club

When you do go to the bathroom, since you don’t have to ask, please take the bathroom pass. It’s on a hook on that wall.

6.     Sixth Rule of Fight Club

When you get back from the bathroom, put the bathroom pass back so the next person can go to the bathroom.

7.     Seventh Rule of Fight Club

If you’re sick and need to miss Fight Club, that’s fine. I’ll just need a doctor’s note or something signed by your parents the next day. Family events such as weddings, funerals, or mitzvahs
(bar, bat, or b’nai) are acceptable excuses, but please give at least a two-week notice.

8.     Eighth Rule of Fight Club

If I call on you during Fight Club, you are allowed three “life-lines”--this means that you can get help from one of your peers. If you use this more than three times, I will have to assume you didn’t do the reading and you will get a “zero” for that day.

9.     Ninth Rule of Fight Club

No chewing gum in Fight Club.

10.  Tenth Rule of Fight Club

No fighting. C’mon guys, this shouldn’t even have to be a rule.

 

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