Freshman Guide: Asking Someone Out

Oct 18

Oct 18 Freshman Guide: Asking Someone Out

Asking someone out on a date can be a daunting task. No one likes getting rejected, but it will happen every once in awhile. We here at Sherman Ave are experts at getting rejected and rejecting, so we came up with a comprehensive step-by-step list on asking your crush out on a date.

Just do it.

End of list. It’s that easy. You would rather live with rejection than regret, right? Just go up and ask them on a date. Well, unless:

They have made it abundantly clear that they don’t want to date you
They are dating somebody and you are aware of it
You are dating somebody
They don’t like you
You don’t like them
I, Clint Taurus, have a crush on them*
They’re racist
They’re homophobic
They’re sexist
They don’t like your friends
They’re an asshole
You’re an asshole
Their favorite R.E.M. album is Monster
They have a low iron count
They don’t like cereal
They don’t like the podcast Serial
They prefer chicken as the protein in their ramen
You haven’t ever seen them and are making them up
They can’t name all the state capitals
They haven’t seen Wet Hot American Summer
They’re not interested in having a wedding at the Ripley’s Believe it or Not castle in St. Augustine Florida
They’re allergic to buffalo wing sauce
They haven’t read a book in five years
They only eat celery
They’re an animal
They can’t dunk
You can’t dunk
They can’t play a sick bass line
They’re married to the sea
They don’t have a 50 state quarter map
You are trying to break their heart