Freshman Engineer Searching for Parkes Hall Rides Bike Straight into Lake Michigan
EVANSTON, IL - Senior Angela Ludwig couldn’t believe her eyes when she saw freshman Joey Donaldson, a chemical engineering major, beelining toward the edge of the Lakefill this past Tuesday. “He just didn’t stop pedaling. All I could think to myself was, wow, wherever he’s going must be a special place.”
A special place, indeed. Turns out, the freshman had been trying to locate the ever-elusive Parkes Hall for his Tuesday afternoon Introduction to Poetry discussion section. According to Donaldson, the Northwestern Navigation app on his Android had malfunctioned and blind innocence led him to believe the only way to Parkes was to ride his bike directly into Lake Michigan.
A tried and true northerner, Donaldson relies on Elder Residential Community’s programming to have, as he puts it, “fun.” The freshman is also on record saying that he thinks sushi from Lisa’s Café is “actually pretty good.” In fact, before the incident, Donaldson was not even convinced that South campus was real. “When I saw that my discussion section got moved to Parkes, I just laughed. I thought South campus was a myth!” explained the freshman, in a post-splashdown interview. “I’m not even sure how I ended up on the Lakefill. I just remember seeing the water and thinking, well, this must be it.”
Onlookers erupted into applause upon Joey’s emergence from the lake, and rushed to dry him off using the WNUR shirts off their backs. As if straight from a fairytale, Joey seemed to have single handedly united North and South Campus. One student explained, “I usually try to limit how much I cry in public, but there was something so moving about the pure naiveté in his eyes as he bobbed up and down over those huge rocks on his bike. I just broke down.” Another student, holding his head in disbelief, uttered “His wheels bounced over rocks painted with marriage proposals like it was no big deal. I don’t think I’ll ever forget this day.”
Since Tuesday, Donaldson has appeared in 16 RTVF documentary projects. Although Donaldson doesn’t plan on heading below the border again any time soon, he’s excited to announce his DTC project, a large, user friendly sign to place into the Lake that reads: “This is NOT Parkes Hall.”