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Entire Gender and Sexuality Studies Lab Dedicated to Finding One Obscure Porno

Entire Gender and Sexuality Studies Lab Dedicated to Finding One Obscure Porno

Evanston IL -- Through the help of a donation from Northwestern trustee Charles Douglas, the Northwestern Gender and Sexuality Studies Lab was recently given a ten-thousand dollar research grant to find that one obscure porno "You really just HAVE to see," says professor Brenna Quistberd, head researcher on the project.

“This is groundbreaking research,” Quistberd continues, “it’s a really, really, really good porno. I remember watching it once back in 1997 on a VHS my cousin lent me, and if our research team finds this one--god--it’s just so good!

The research team has already spent forty-five hundred dollars on anti-virus software.

“Finding this porn is crucial to our research, and it means a lot to professor Quistberd” reported research assistant Justin Sing. “From what she’s told me, the porno starts off deconstructing our preconceived notions of gender by having two queer non-binary performers rub armpits together. Throughout the porno gender is performed, but these gender roles switch between characters, refracting societal constructs onto each other, deconstructing them in the process. It's amazing."

Despite this new allocation of resources to the gender studies department, professor Quistberd’s lab has had to ask for support from other departments in Weinberg.

“Originally our research centered around popular porn sites, but once we realized how elusive this porn was, we had to transition to an interdisciplinary approach. We’ve had to call on the help of both German and Slavic studies to help us translate and interpret foreign porno titles”. Reported Professor Quistberd.    

So far, the research team has lost four laptops to viruses, bugs, and malware. 

Opinion - Northwestern’s Political Correctness Encroaches on Student Freedoms, Such as Stalking

Opinion - Northwestern’s Political Correctness Encroaches on Student Freedoms, Such as Stalking

Northwestern Says Student Body Can Call New Student Center ‘Gary’ or ‘Sir’ If It Doesn’t Feel Comfortable Calling it Norris

Northwestern Says Student Body Can Call New Student Center ‘Gary’ or ‘Sir’ If It Doesn’t Feel Comfortable Calling it Norris