Following an intense round of matchups and the fall of all four number 1 seeded distros in the second round, the Elite 8 features four intriguing battles in Distribution Division Finals. Ancient Athens: Democracy, Drama, and Civilization looks to continue its improbable run for the Ethics & Values title as it squares off against the fifth-seeded Comparative Slavery, while both Cyberqueer and Intro to Fiction coasted in their second-round challenges to advance to the final in the Literature & Fine Arts Division. While surprisingly strong voter participation helped Modern Cosmology advance to face Human Origins in the Natural Science Division, the Astronomy Department is currently under investigation for allegations of voter intimidation. And after treating Finite Mathematics like it was a voluntary after-class demonstration in Human Sexuality, Psych Stats advanced to meet Intro to Stats in a showdown that will defy all normal curves.
Key statistics and Sherman Ave expert analysis are provided below to ensure that our voters remain well-informed. If any further students, professors, or departmental chairs wish to weigh in, please email us at email@example.com. Voting for the Distribution Division Finals closes tomorrow at midnight!
FORMAL STUDIES DIVISION  STAT 202: Introduction to Statistics Time: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, 10:00am-10:50am Location: 555 Clark B01 Instructor: Margaret Andrews Seats available: 60
Time: Tuesday and Thursday, 11:00am-12:20pm Location: TBA Instructor: Wenxin Jiang Seats available: 65
Time: Tuesday and Thursday, 12:30pm-1:50pm Location: TBA Instructor: Wenxin Jiang Seats Available: 65 Analysis: A lot of students seem to take this class, so therefore Intro to Stats must be popular. Correlation implies causation, right?
 PSYCH 201: Statistical Methods in Psychology Time: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, 11:00am-11:50am Location: Swift Hall 107 Instructor: Benjamin Gorvine Seats available: 105 Analysis: A guest expert weighs in:
ETHICS & VALUES DIVISION  AF AM ST 342: Comparative Slavery Time: Tuesday, 2:00pm-5:00pm Location: University Library 3322 Instructor: Sherwin Bryant Seats available: 15 Analysis: If you’re not a fan of the three hour block, this may not be the class for you. On the plus side, when you get out of class at 5, you’ll be just steps away from Frontera for dinner...LOL JK THEY CLOSE AT 5. GOOD LUCK GETTING A TACO NOW. So if you like tacos and being sober in the library, please do not take this class.
 CLASSICS 211: Ancient Athens: Democracy, Drama, and Civilization Time: Tuesday and Thursday, 11:00am-12:20pm Location: Kresge Hall 2-415 Instructor: Robert Wallace Seats available: 65 Analysis: We learn about Julius Caesar in this class, right? Was he the one who built the Colosseum? I took Latin in high school, so will that be, like, useful for this class? Carpe Diem yall!!!!!!! <3 <3
LITERATURE & FINE ARTS DIVISION  GNDR ST 374: Cyberqueer Time: Tuesday and Thursday, 2:00pm-3:20pm Location: Kresge Hall, 2-359 Instructor: Jillana Enteen Seats available: 30 Analysis: After dispensing with first-seeded The Dao of Sex: Sexuality in China, Past and Present in the second round, Cyberqueer looks to further its unexpected ascent to the top of the Literature & Fine Arts Division. Watch for Cyberqueer to break out the Ryan Gosling memes and America’s Next Top Model gifs in its race to the top.
 ENGLISH 213: Introduction to Fiction Time: Tuesday and Thursday, 11:00am-12:20pm Location: Fisk Hall 217 Instructor: Christine Froula Seats available: 80 Analysis: Hopefully this class covers the basic books that introduced us all to fiction, like the Wishbone series, The Berenstain Bears, and Animorphs. Anything beyond that, and this class is in trouble. Look for Intro to Fiction to make more noise in the bracket than the desks in Fisk.
NATURAL SCIENCE DIVISION  ASTRON 101: Modern Cosmology Time: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, 1:00pm-1:50pm Location: Tech, Lecture Room 2 Instructor: Michael Smutko Seats available: 280 Analysis: Modern Cosmology’s only black hole is that it’s in Tech. You’re not going to walk from Allison to Tech on a Friday in January when you can sit in your room eating a Wings Over and streaming Zenon while nursing your Deuce induced hangover.
 ANTHRO 213: Human Origins Time: Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, 12:00pm-12:50pm Location: Harris Hall 107 Instructor: Erin Waxenbaum Dennison Seats available: 100 Analysis: The class sounds like it actually might involve science and not involve watching Indiana Jones. But with 100 people in the class, there’s no reason you can’t sit in back and stream it. For those of you living north of Foster, making the trek to Harris three times a week presents a challenge almost as daunting as the search for a complete homo rudolfensis skull.