Dunkin' Donuts Secret Menu
For years, fast food connoisseurs have known about the secret menus of restaurants likes In-N-Out Burger and Potbelly, but very few Northwestern students know that a Norris staple also harbors a secret menu that is exclusive to its location on Norris’ ground floor. Ladies and gentlemen, the Dunkin’ Donuts secret menu: What to order: Atlantic Surprise
What it is: A cronut injected with Boston cream filling
What to order: The Wildcat
What it is: You get a small bag that’s filled with a bunch of rejection letters from Brown.
What to order: Lego Frosted
What it is: A Marbled Frosted donut stuffed with legos. Do not give to children.
What to order: The Cowboy
What it is: A Big N’ Toasted deep fried in batter and then topped with an entire stromboli from North Shore Pizza Company.
What to order: Soylent Green
What it is: Soylent Green is people!!! People with sprinkles.
What to order: The Godfather
What it is: A combo meal that includes a large coffee and a severed horse head.
What to order: Dirty Rick
What it is: A Vanilla Bean Coolatta with a dollop of guacamole and the leftover grease from the Frontera Fresco grills added to it.
What to order: Box of Hands
What it is: Literally, a box of hands.
What to order: The Secret
What it is: Don’t actually say anything to the cashier. Just direct positive thoughts in their direction and watch as your life improves with...is that a goddamn plain donut? Fuck, who even likes those?!
What to order: The Schick Quattro
What it is: Just a regular old classic glazed donut. No razorblades in there, I promise.
What to order: The Morty
What it is: Lavender-infused flourless French chocolate cake batter fried in imported Catalonian truffle oil and glazed with a huckleberry-balsamic reduction sauce. Served with a side of vegan crème fraîche and high-mindedness.