Draymond Green Transcends into Being of Pure Rage
After defeating the Oklahoma City Thunder, Golden State’s Draymond Green shed his physical form and transcended into a being of pure rage in preparation for the NBA Finals against Lebron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. “It began right after the final buzzer,” says Stephen Curry, of the Warriors, “[Green]’s eyes began to glow a firey red, eventually his eyes had been replaced by flame. Then the screaming. Oh god the screaming. A scream that has seized my heart and won’t loose its grip. It was for Lebron. He screamed ‘Lebron.’” Reportedly, Green’s skin began to crack as the energy of undiluted anger erupted from out of his very soul. “A lot of people assume that Draymond is some kind of ‘jerk’,” says Warriors head coach, Steve Kerr, “but what he really is is a ferocious entity that feeds itself off of ire, and will let nothing stand between it and what it wants. You cannot stop Draymond Green. Do not try, Mr. James. You cannot. He will have no mercy.” Draymond Green reportedly took a picture of Lebron James out of his pocket after the win, and stared at it until it burst into flames. “A lot of people credit the W’s success to me and Steph,” said Warriors guard Klay Thompson, “but it is the Green One that strikes fear into our hearts and drives us to be the best we can, or else.” The demon within Draymond comes forth, bursting out of his human form and shouting: “I AM FURY. I AM RAGE. I AM VENGEANCE. I AM THE DRAYMOND. POWER FORWARD FOR THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS. I AVERAGE 9.5 REBOUNDS A GAME THIS SEASON, AND I WILL DRAG LEBRON JAMES’ CORPSE THROUGH THE STREETS OF CLEVELAND IF THAT IS WHAT IT TAKES. WARRIORS! WARRIORS! WARRIORS!” His terrible voice resulted in the death of many.