Dean of Students Requires Homework for those Entering Fitzerland
Evanston, Ill.—In an effort to ensure the safety and diligence of Northwestern undergraduates, Dean of Students Todd Adams revealed yesterday that those wishing to enter the pre-football game student tailgate, commonly known as “Fitzerland,” are now required to bring with them a backpack and some homework.
“Participation in the student tailgate has been quite strong throughout the season, and student involvement has made a distinct difference in the atmosphere before and during games at Ryan Field,” said Adams in an email to students. “To enter the tailgate, students must now bring a problem set, an outline of an essay, or a book to read—provided, of course, that each student brings a syllabus to prove the veracity of his or her assignment.”
The policy change is largely seen as an effort to reign in the fun which was had before previous football games this season.
Adams added that students must complete their homework before engaging in any activity involving alcohol. In addition, no loud noises will be tolerated until every student has finished his or her homework and shown a completed assignment to Dean Adams.
It has been reported that, although not mentioned anywhere on CAESAR, failure to complete your assignment before leaving Fitzerland will result in another goddamn hold on class registration.