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Daze Depot: Perfect For Your Moving Needs AND Daddy Issues

Daze Depot: Perfect For Your Moving Needs AND Daddy Issues

Anyone who has recently trekked by the arch or happened upon the South Campus Swamp has encountered Daze Depot tents. At first glance, it appears to be a casting call for a Logic lookalike contest. If you look closer, you will see that it is the sexiest, douchiest moving service on Northwestern’s campus.

If Lazy Bones, UPS, FedEx, University and Student Services (USS), your drug dealer’s basement, or tossing your shit into a friend’s spacious Winnetka home don’t quite light a fire in your loins, try Daze Depot. It’s far more erotic. Daze Depot’s business model is simple: they text you at 4 a.m. on the day of your move asking, “U up?” After you reply, it’ll take hours to hear back. A Daze Depot employee will then arrive at your home, likely coming down from a Xanax high. He’ll probably be wearing an Anti Social Social Club sweatshirt. This man will move a box or two in between hits of his crème brûlée-flavored Juul. The rest is up to you, though. He’s just there to chill for a little bit because he has a thing to go to right after. He will probably ask you to follow him on Soundcloud before slinking his little body into the night and blocking your number.

Afterward, you can track your boxes in real time, but that doesn’t guarantee that your little moving man will give all of your things back. He might keep your vans, if they fit. He definitely won’t.

Employees are chosen through a vigorous screening process. Each male Northwestern student who owns a piece of Supreme clothing is selected and subsequently filtered based on streetwear knowledge, vaping skills and perfectly-tousled hair. Daze Depot prefers to hire lanky males to carry your boxes so that they can surprise you with their unassuming manly strength, majorly upping the sexy factor.

The idea came to founder Chad Hype when swiping through his numerous Bumble matches. What if, he thought, I could make money off of my pallid good looks and emotional unavailability? White pondered what extremely not-clouty industry he could transform with sleek graphic design, dope sweatshirts and a gaggle of sad boys.

Daze Depot began as an audio/visual equipment shipping business, and they promise to give your boxes of winter clothes and secret dildoes the same precision and care as speakers and microphones.

“When you think of a moving business, you think of a bunch of sweaty guys that listen to Train or something,” Hype says. “We are the moving guys that listen to Post Malone.

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