"Consulting is a Fake Job," Says Performance Studies Major
EVANSTON, IL-- After a long diatribe about the negative consequences and lack of skill needed to become a consultant, Performing Studies junior Casey Goldberg has officially concluded that the entire profession is made up. “I don’t even understand what it is, like could someone please explain it to me?” she said as she walked to her Reinterpreting the Art of Backwards Motion Class. “All I know is that basically anybody can do it. It doesn’t even take any talent,” she added, “Unlike Performance Studies, which requires a real understanding of how to study performance. That’s what Performance Studies is all about.”
Goldberg, who decided to be a Performance Studies major after not getting cast in any theater shows freshman year, spoke deeply about her passion for the arts, something she states “consultant majors” have no knowledge of. “They only care about money, and I just find that super shallow and petty,” said the woman who once claimed she was “too hot” to transfer to RTVF.
While Goldberg is pursuing her passion, she made it very clear she’s being practical about her dreams. “My parents wouldn’t support me if I just majored in Performance Studies. That’s why I’m getting a minor in Comparative Literature and a Digital Media module.”
Goldberg finished her rant by assuring us she plans to get a real job when she graduates, hopefully Social Media Manager or Something In Marketing.