Chin Up, Northwestern: An Open Letter to Bereaved NU Football Fans

bilde Dear Wildcats,

We at Sherman Ave talked a lot about An Ohio State University getting fucked, wrecked, guzzling our Siemian, and all sorts of other fantastic verbage *does Trumpy dickswinging celebration out of habit*. At this point, if you’re not familiar with the events of the OSU-NU game, you can just close this tab, and then find some Siemian to guzzle or something.

In reality, no real fucking or wrecking was had, neither by NU nor OSU. Of course, OSU supporters will be quick to say that, actually, they fucked us. But they’d be fucking wrong.

I will admit that I had originally intended to write something about Northwestern’s miraculous victory over the douchebaggery of OSU, and with about four minutes left in the fouth quarter, things were looking good. Yes, OSU was up by 4 points. Yes, Northwestern was living up to its “Cardiac Cats” reputation. To many of us, though, that particular drive seemed preordained to end in a touchdown. Like much of life, things looked good, until they weren’t.

The spot call on 4th and inches was a real heartbreaker. And the official review took that broken heart and doused it in kerosene mixed with dogshit, and then set it all on fire. There were millions of people watching this game, but the officials couldn’t use a camera angle from the other side of the field? For shame. But one call is one call, and the Wildcats could have done more to keep it from coming down to that.

But the scoreline doesn’t reflect the real winner. Northwestern scored victories last night across all categories but one. OSU fans will argue that the category in question, the scoreboard, is the most important one. Coincidentally, that’s exactly why nobody fucking likes them.

Northwestern showed up yesterday—on the field, in the stands, in the media—better than I ever could have expected. No one asked, “Hey, isn’t that school located in Boston?” Our spot on the map is assured. No one remarked, “Wow, that travelling horde of obnoxious Ohioans sure showed Northwestern how to support their team.” We came out in droves and screamed for our team all four quarters. No one said, “Oh man, Northwestern is getting wrecked by OSU, let’s watch the Washington-Stanford game instead.” Far from it. NU played one of the most exciting games of football this season and surprised everyone, including Ohio State.

Watching the game at Nevin’s[1], I saw fear in OSU’s fans’ eyes.  I saw them go quiet many times. I saw them celebrate, too, but their moments of happiness were few and far between, much rarer than anyone expected. OSU’s faithful likely thought our #16 ranking a joke, a farce, an injustice to be swiftly undone by the righteous institution that is OSU football.

How wrong they were.

An hour or so before the game, I saw a female Northwestern student walking towards the library, a textbook in hand and a few more tucked into her bag. She wasn’t wearing purple, and it was obvious she wasn’t interested in the revelry of “Fall Dillo” (prepare yourself for next year, Evanston) going on around her. She was off to study, and even the biggest game in Northwestern’s history wasn’t going to stop her. But no one around her publicly begrudged her choice. Northwestern cares about football, sure, but it alone does not define us.

We come to Northwestern to for much more than the glory of sport, something I’m not sure OSU’s “fantastic” traveling fanbase understands. When the sport of football ceases to exist by 2050 for a myriad of reasons, we won’t be decimated by its departure. We’ll mourn the lost chances, and we’ll reminisce about our great program, but we’ll still be Northwestern. We’ll still have our soul, and our pride won’t waiver—much.

I think you’d be hard pressed to say that the same is true for An Ohio State University. I would even feel bad for them, if they weren’t such insufferable football fans.

But the really sad part? They’re STILL not going to make the National Championship game. Strength of schedule is such a bitch, isn’t it?

With love to all my Wildkittens, The Commandant

[1] I graduated, so no free ticket for me, and couldn’t afford

“College is Sick” says Northwestern Freshman to State School Friends

The 25 (non-Football) Sports Wildcats Do Best