Hi.

 

Belated Hot Take: TARGET???!!>!?!?!?!

Belated Hot Take: TARGET???!!>!?!?!?!

Holy shit. Guys!!! The other day I was walking kinda by Panera like across from CVS but not as far as Sushi Burrito and there was this big sign with a red bullseye on it. And I was like. I recognize that, you know? But where did I recognize it from. Not gonna lie, at first it brought me right back to my archery days. Ha. Incredible times in that field. Nothing beats the feeling of a bow in your hand and an arrow in your belt. But then I looked at the colors and realized there’s no way this is a traditional archery target… TARGET.

Holy shit. Almost didn’t recognize it without those big red balls out front. Guess we need someone to volunteer to replace them - lookin’ at you, Jimmy. That kid’s got ENORMOUS balls. Irish, too. Anyway. Yeah, I looked through the glass doors for a while and realized, woah, this place is OPEN. That signature little dog. Those slick polished floors that put my mom in a neck brace that one time. Man, if those aisles could talk.

Now that there’s a Target in town, we can all embrace it in all its glory. Ever tried on a pair of $14.99 Target sunglasses (reflectives with the Ray Ban shape) and felt God? Now you can. Every day if you wanted to. I’ll tell ya, there is just nothing better than a stroll down the toiletries aisle knowing you’ll soon be playing with those tiny travel sized goodies. And there is truly no greater high than inhaling each and every candle scent while simultaneously fingering the smooth ceramic of those suburban-chic mugs.

I’ll say it if no one will - Target is a great store. God, this sexy little brick and mortar must sell some crraazzzyy stuff. I’m thinkin jars of pickles, maybe toenail clippers, a sock with a picture of a bird on it that says something silly like “hawkward!” So get on in there and explore. It’s totally open, just thought you should know.


 

Hidden Treasure: The Construction Crew Found a Whole Other 7/11 Under the Emerson St. 7/11

Hidden Treasure: The Construction Crew Found a Whole Other 7/11 Under the Emerson St. 7/11

The Rock is Thicc and I’m DTF

The Rock is Thicc and I’m DTF