Hi.

 

Attached: Your Searle Application Status

Attached: Your Searle Application Status

Dear Applicant,

Thank you so much for taking the time to apply for a non-emergency appointment at Searle through the Personal Health Portal. We were truly overwhelmed with the amount of interest in receiving treatment from the University Health Service this quarter, and we were floored by your first and second round interviews.

Unfortunately, we had a record number of applicants this year, and we simply do not have the time to talk to you about your symptoms and misdiagnose you. That being said, we truly regret to inform you that we cannot offer you a position as a patient at Searle at this time.

We want to stress that you were one of many highly qualified applicants, and in a less competitive application season, we wouldn’t have to turn you down for a birth control refill. However, this year, we saw all kinds of creative application themes, from the classic “STI test” to “urgent heart transplant required,” and though we’d love to give everyone medication for their chronic allergic reactions, we only have space to treat the very most competent applicants.

We highly recommend reapplying during our next recruitment season, especially since you have mono and need immediate treatment. For information about our next recruitment dates, you can give us a “Like” on Facebook and be the first to know when the application opens up for our Fall 2018 Searle Patient pledge class.

Once again, thanks so much for applying to be a patient at Searle. If you simply can’t wait to get involved with having medical treatment in the future, our friends at CAPS are currently recruiting for their 19 highly selective Winter 2018 appointment spots. Thanks again, and have a happy and healthy winter break.

 

Best Wishes,

Ally and Dustin

Searle Health Center Recruitment Chairs

 

Organization Really Just Looking for Qualified, Driven, Hot People

Organization Really Just Looking for Qualified, Driven, Hot People

University Officials Cite Frustration at Being Unable to Replace Entire Student Body with Shiny Glass Buildings

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