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‘90s Kids Rejoice: Real Life ‘90s Kid Rescued From Local Basement!

‘90s Kids Rejoice: Real Life ‘90s Kid Rescued From Local Basement!

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The basement Tucker was found in, which is totally not the bomb, let alone off the hook. Willy Tucker was born in 1985 and came of age during the era of Beanie Babies, Lisa Frank, and TLC, so it’s pretty safe to say that Tucker is a true nineties kid. Though he might have been able to predict that purple ketchup was only a passing fad, there’s no way that Tucker could have predicted that he would be pulled off the street and trapped in the basement for the entirety of his teens and twenties and  thus immortalizing his pure nineties soul!

Building inspectors found Tucker curled up in the corner of the basement of an abandoned home at 6:50 PM on Tuesday, December 29th. The police initially believed Tucker to be dead, but once they brought him into the sun, he woke up and burst back into life faster than The Spice Girls could say “Viva Forever!”

Don’t whip out the slap bracelets just yet. According to the doctors who have been treating Tucker, he is currently suffering from a number of conditions that have left him prone to nonsensical outbursts and lack off sensation in his extremities!

As soon as the news broke, Tucker was approached by reporters desperate to get a hard answer on what in fact only true '90s kids understood. Tucker gave him all of the information they wanted… NOT! Instead, he threw a glass of milk across the room and started crying to God in completely incoherent terms!

The staff at Buzzfeed reportedly declared Tucker the Messiah and has been praying to an old package of Dunkaroos for the last three days.

It’s pretty safe to say that '90s kids have something to be excited about.

 

 

Freshman Actually Really Happy She Didn't Get a Top Sorority Bid, Now That She Thinks About It

Freshman Actually Really Happy She Didn't Get a Top Sorority Bid, Now That She Thinks About It

If Raskolnikov from Crime and Punishment Went Through Sorority Recruitment

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