7 Dorm Organizing Tricks to Give You a Sense of Stability in the Random Meaningless Chaos of Life
1. Label, label, label!
Buying a label maker is a fun and easy way to mark all of your drawers and cabinets, which will make finding paperclips, glasses, and printer ink a snap! This should be a refreshing change of pace from the rest of your futile existence, where human-constructed labels such as “Good” and “Evil,” and “Right” and “Wrong,” are all matters of perception that fail to hold up under any sort of legitimate moral judgement!
2. Use vacuum-seal space bags!
Finding it a bit difficult to store all of your clothes? Have no fear: With some vacuum-seal space bags, you can shrink the amount of space your clothes take up by almost 70%! Reduce your problems into easily manageable packages, as opposed to your numerous insurmountable metaphysical questions. Do you even matter as a speck in this infinite universal void? Now that’s a thought that won’t fit so easily in the top of your closet!
3. Transform an entryway using hooks and shelves!
Convert your messy front door area into a wonder of organization using some handy dandy hooks and shelves! While you, as a person, can never truly change and will always be the same miserable ant no matter how much “progress” you appear to be making, your entryway can easily be improved after you hang up all those jackets and store all those forlorn shoes!
4. Let color do the work for you!
Using some multi-colored folders or binders can easily help you separate items into easily defined categories, unlike the rest of your life, where everything is an incoherent narrative jumble! Does my life matter? Is God real? Where do we go after we die? Put those pesky questions in a blue folder and forget about it!
5. Maximize vertical space!
Sometimes it can be tough to find more storage area in a small dorm room, but one easy solution is to use wall-mounted shelving to stack up to the ceiling! As per the multiverse theory, you may never really reach your true potential (as there are an infinite number of “yous” who have made better choices and will live more successful and fulfilling lives), but at least your shelving will have maximized its potential!
6. Store food in clear canisters!
If you’re noticing that it’s hard to get to your food through the endless clutter of boxes and bags, try storing dry grains like oatmeal, flour, and cereal in clear containers! Looking at food through those mason jars will help you forget that you never truly “see” anything, and that the entire universe as perceived by you could just be an illusion or computer simulation. You may just be a brain in a jar, but that doesn’t mean you can’t admire your mustard seeds in a jar!
7. Choose materials to match your space!
But don't forget: Free will doesn't exist!