5 Things That Sheridan Road Construction Also Cancelled

(Photo Courtesy of The Daily Northwestern)

Yes, we all know that this year the Northwestern Homecoming Parade took the L (L as in loss, not the CTA L, idiot) and was cancelled as a result of Sheridan Road construction. But why should the homecoming parade get all the attention? Maybe other events, events that are too shy to say anything, got cancelled because of Sheridan Road construction. Maybe some events want to be ASKED if they were cancelled.

1. The 8th Annual Sheridan Road Dance Party

My roommate and I had speakers, a fire playlist, and body glitter all ready to go for the 8th Annual Sheridan Road Dance Party, but were told by construction workers that “public nudity is illegal”, “it’s 8am on a Wednesday”, they had “work to do”, and there’s “Never been a Sheridan Road Dance Party, what’re you talking about?”. Whatever that means.

2. My Hulu Subscription

My mom also cancelled my Hulu subscription the same day that the noise of bulldozers outside my window woke me up at 7am. That honestly speaks for itself.

3. Freaks and Geeks

One of the best cult TV shows of all time...cancelled after 1 season. WTF? I heard that Lindsay Weir was going to go to Northwestern in the show (because she’s good at math but is #alternative) but then the producers saw the Sheridan Road construction and were like nah. Thanks a lot.

4. My Relationship with My Father

I have not been on speaking terms with my father since around when construction started. Coincidence? No.

5. The Migration Path of the Red-Beak Mallard

This is arguably the most fucked up one. It’s one thing to mess with me (my relationships, my subscriptions) but it is a new level of fucked up to disrespect an entire species. Every year, the red beaked mallard migrates to warmer climate (places with less construction!!1!!!1!!!!1!), and can it do that with such limited crosswalks? No. No it can not. But you probably never even thought about that because you only think about yourself.