4 Innovative Places to Find Your Next Formal Date
The clock is winding down. Your formal is just around the corner. It seems there is no one on this planet that wants to go to formal with you. It's reading week; you no longer have the opportunity to very smoothly drop that formal bomb on that cute girl/guy that sits three rows in front of you in Stat 210. Don’t fret yet. There are a few places you have yet to look. Try to focus in Stat, you bum.
“But I’ve looked everywhere!” you say with a heavy-hearted sigh.
I promise, your formal date is still somewhere in the making.
1. Sheridan road.
Do you know how many people walk down Sheridan every day? Do you know how many people you might know who walk down Sheridan every day? Yes of course you do! You’ve been avoiding these hoards of people since day 1 because you are too busy being awkward trying not to make eye contact. Sheridan is the perfect place to quickly drop the ‘formal?’ question and leave. It’s a painless, quick, and easy way to get your point across, and if shit hits the fan things don’t go quite as you planned, you can easily escape (except you will never escape their awkward gaze on Sheridan again.)
2. Whole Foods
“Whole foods?!" You might say. “That place is mobbed with pregnant health enthusiasts and their 6 year olds!”
We would say, “We are happy that you have age requirements for your formal date. 6-35 is a good range.”
But seriously, there are plenty of NU students hanging around in whole foods, just waiting to be asked to formal. Why are you standing over by the fish? Whole foods has a lovely selection of cheap wines fresh fruits where you can usually find some underage kids health-conscious sorority girls looking to avoid scurvy.
3. The Corner of Church and Sherman, Wearing a Northwestern University Canning Vest
You can ask anyone who’s ever been canning before, shamelessly soliciting money from the Evanston townspeople advocating a worthy cause is a great way to meet new people willing to donate. In this case, you are not asking for money, but instead a formal date, which you are desperately in need of. The vest will help indicate that you are in fact desperate.
Do you know where the Evanston Township high school is located? Yes you do, because you’ve been banned for life doing community service there for whatever philanthropic organization you pay dues to so that you can have some friends choose to be involved in because you are a good person at heart. The ETHS is a great place to meet high school students who will gladly accompany you to formal as long as you promise them a dillo wristband for next year without anything in return but a good time.