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4 Amazing Holiday-Inspired Date Ideas For Cheap Couples

4 Amazing Holiday-Inspired Date Ideas For Cheap Couples

The holiday season is in full swing. You’re already blasting Michael Bublé, chugging down gingerbread lattes and wearing those Christmas-themed undies that say “naughty” on the butt. Now it’s time to go out on holiday-inspired dates with your cheap-ass significant other! Here are some creative holiday-themed date ideas that are perfect for you penny-pinching motherfuckers.

1. Norris Ice Rink minus the 3$ for the skates

The Norris Ice Rink is a convenient way to enjoy the winter with your SO; the only problem is neither of you wants to give any more money to this institution. Here’s my solution: why rent skates? I’m no expert but I’m pretty sure ice is still slippery with any footwear. Just go onto the ice and enjoy! You're still gonna suck at it! Skates or no skates, ice skating will always be more stressful and painful than fun.

Perfect for the sporty couple
Cost: 0$ unless injury occurs

2. Explore neighborhoods to see their holiday home decorations

Walk around an affluent neighborhood with your sweetheart and enjoy the beautiful lights and Christmas decorations. Nothing says "Merry Christmas" more than having every white in the neighborhood approach you to ask why you’re there because “you are certainly not from the area.” Fun, free and terrifying!

Perfect for the adventurous couple
Cost: 0$ and you’ll even gain a newfound hatred for capitalism

3. Become your own charity

This is the season to give to the less fortunate or something like that because everyone and their mother keeps asking me to donate to UNICEF on Facebook. It's time for you and your lover to get on with this trend and ask for money on social media! Create your own Facebook page for the charity closest to your heart: yourselves. Some might see you as privileged rich kids at some fancy private school, but I am certain you will think of a whiny reason why someone should give you money. I can honestly not come up with anything, but I believe in you!

Perfect for the entrepreneur couple
Cost: You might make a profit!

4. Don’t even go outside

Going outside means spending money. Staying in the dorms means taking advantage of what your daddy already paid for. Just stay in your room with your bae and fuck each other senseless on a twin bed. Role-play as Santa and a naughty, naughty girl to spice things up and stay on theme.

Perfect for the sexually frustrated couple
Cost: 0$ and the crippling guilt of sexualizing Christmas

 

 

 

 

Belated Hot Take: Santa’s Not Real

Belated Hot Take: Santa’s Not Real

Lift Ticket: $500. Plane ticket $400. Emergency Room: $12,000. Ski Trip: Priceless.

Lift Ticket: $500. Plane ticket $400. Emergency Room: $12,000. Ski Trip: Priceless.