3 Stellar Halloween Costume Ideas
Warning: Sherman Ave does not condone or endorse the use of any of the costumes. Not a single one. Seriously guys. So you need a brilliant costume idea for Halloween this year and you are completely out of ideas? No worries! Here at Sherman Ave, we are more than happy to put our minds and nimble fingers of Eleanor Kinkervoss (our resident Martha Stewart, tbh) to work to create stunning garbs of Samhain delight!
1. The Race Controversy Simply don a sombrero, blackface, or a kimono and walk around with a peace pipe (of “tobacco” of course) and greeting people with a booming “HOW!” Also constantly be at war with the white person inside of you and try to oppress each part of your costume by yelling slurs at yourself. Points if you can hit more ethnic pejoratives than all of Ryan Murphy’s shows combined.
2. The Keg Fashion a single-person tent into a poncho type shroud supported by your shoulders and let any girl obviously younger than 21 enter the tent through the flap in the back of the tent. Carry a 30-rack of any cheap beer and give one to any person able to jump over you when you sit down.
3. Sherman Ave (alone or group costume) Gather as many friends as you can to pregame the festivities with a tons of Keystone Light and cheap vodka while screaming Katy Perry and Adele songs. One or two of you can also mime masturbating to Pippa Middleton’s visage and the others can all blackout in Fran’s.
Alternatively, you could just go as a slutty rabbit or dead football player like every character in every fucking teen movie ever. Have fun!